Full translation of a voice-recorded tape by Mohammed Movahhed, a leading scholar and Martyr of the Baha'i Faith. This is Mr Movahhed's account of how he became Baha'i.
​​
Translated from original tape recording from Farsi (Persian) to English, by Tahereh Azari.
​
Good morning. My name is Mohammed Shaykh Movahhed from Shiraz. [Voices of a gathering of people can be heard. A vibrant and happy atmosphere can be felt from the voices in the background.]
My father was a learned clergyman from Shiraz and he taught in the religious school by the name of The School of Agha Bába Khan. From childhood, I had an extraordinarily strong liking and desire to learn about spirituality and religion. In those days, I had this notion that the clergy lived a God-like existence; not only did they not sin, but even the thought of sin would not cross their mind.
​
As early as primary school, I had decided that my future would be the study of theology and religion. I would read books regarding religion during school summer holidays and in the fourth and fifth year of primary school, I took up studies of the Arabic language.
​
When I finished primary school, I went straight into the school of clergy, which was a six-year course of study and research into religion.
​
There are two books in this course; “Introduction to spirituality” and “Quality of conduct. ​I read both these books in this preliminary study. During this period, some subjects and problems came up that made certain things clearer to me. For example, I no longer thought that the learned clergy were as good as I originally perceived. Also, there were some theological theories which I found difficult to understand.
Amongst the learned books, I found that there were no writings on the theories of religion. In our studies at the school of clergy, the first part is Arabic, then a little bit of the study of logic, followed by interpretation of the holy words and religious laws.
​
I really thought that the theories of religion should also be studied and researched.
​
I began the research by speaking and asking questions to my father and other clergymen of learning. The answers I received were not very convincing, so I thought I would start learning about the basis and theories of religion by seeking to read various books on the subject.
​
There is a science called the science of the word. Although this is not part of the learning in religious schools, I decided to take this up myself, together with philosophy. At the beginning of my studies in philosophy, I realised that there are two types of research available in religious theories. One method of research is a scientific method of consultation and reading and the other method is of scientific experimentation, experience, and meditation. I decided to use both methods in this research, instead of concentrating only on one area, which may not be as fruitful.
​
Although I envisaged this to be a brief period of research, in fact it took six years to complete. During this time, I came across some subject areas which were contrary to what I had previously believed or been told. For example, I realised that the next world or the “Day of Judgement” is not what has been taught. It is not at the end or the length of this world, but during this existence in the breadth of life, in the here and now. The day of judgement is not as if there is a day, when there is no more night, or a night when there is no more day. Also, I realised that the end of the prophetic cycle as stated in the Quran, does not mean that no more prophets will appear after Muhammad and that no more words of God or holy books will appear.
​
I convinced myself that the Hidden Imam, which all Muslims were awaiting, would explain this dilemma regarding the appearance of further prophets. I thought to myself, in the end, the Hidden Imam would die and there will be no more prophets and not a 13th Imam, (though some believe there is.) Then, what would happen?
​
When the Imam appears amongst men, would His mission, which has been stated to be brief (about seven or nine years), clarify these unanswered questions?
​
So, what is humanity’s situation after the mission of the Hidden Imam has ended? He must surely set our duties for the future. This is how I explained things to myself.
​
During the six years of research, I would read the Quran and it had been fully proven to me that there is a living truth in this world, the almighty God, and His wisdom, which penetrates all things. And it had been proven to me that this Holy Book, the Quran, as well as the Christian Bible and the Jewish Torah were related to truth and God’s justice. I read the Torah once and the Bible twice and the Quran about one hundred times.
I also researched other world religions during these six years of research.
​
In reading the Quran, I thought maybe the meaning is not as it appears, literally, or the way the clergy explain it. It must have some other hidden meaning. For example, the Quran says Abraham killed four hens and ate them, and they became alive and came towards him.
​
He asked God, “Do you give life to the dead?”
​
And God answered, “Do you not have any trust?”
​
He said “Yes, but I would like my faith to increase.”
​
Then, this problem arose, as I thought maybe catching four hens should not be taken literally in the physical sense. Then, I learnt that even the clergy and the learned men had given these stories a meaning for themselves. For example, these four hens represent four vices found in humans, according to Molana. One is passion, the other greed, etc. These vices will die and will be replaced by the opposite spiritual virtues.
For example, by destroying greed, the virtue of contentment will become alive. An example of greed can be made with reference to the duck, who is accustomed to sticking his beak into dirty waters and going to extremes for his food.
​
I also thought that the miracles of the prophets had hidden meanings.
​
Many verses of the Quran are far different to what has been interpreted. I studied the writings of the Prophet Muhammed for four years. These were four years of hard labour and study. For example, for forty days I would fast and would confine myself to the mosque, in the hope that if there is a 12th Imam, I would meet him, or gain a connection. After these four years of research, I was sure that the 12th Imam was not the direct son of Imam Hassan Askari, as has been the consensus, and would be born at a later date.
​
There were many other problems and questions that arose, and I realised that the answers were not those explained by the learned clergy. For example, the explanation of the clergy was that when the Hidden Imam appears, the same Muslim laws will be followed. However, in other studies and stories, it explains that new spiritual laws will be given a new book, a new culture and in some verses, a new judgement.
​
Another issue widely agreed by the clergy was that the 12th Imam would follow the rules of the old prophets and Imams. However. other schools of thought and explanations are that the first person to follow the Imam is the Prophet Muhammed himself, then Imam Ali. So, he must hold a higher position than the Prophet Muhammed and Ali. Of course, only I knew about the findings of this research.
​
It was in the 12th year of the school of Islamic priesthood and up to that year, I never thought that the Baha’i religion was worthy of study. That is why I had not studied this religion. I came across a book with the name of “Declaration of Truth” by Ahmad Soroush. One of my students was in possession of this book. His name was Siyyid Mohammad Taghi, from Ardekan. I borrowed the book from him and asked him what it was about. He said he was reading the book, and it had the intention of disproving the Baha’i and Bábi Faith.
I opened the book and on the left-hand page, in the middle of the page it said:
​
“Know ye that the ways of spirituality are far from the worship of worldly desires. Those in search of truth made their mark and made a real difference when they detached themselves from their possessions and their very lives, one example being the martyred Imam Hussain. Unless this station is attained, no progress is made. It was the act of these martyrs that watered and made the legacy of the Prophet Mohammad fertile, fruitful, and lasting.
​
So, must we, in the path of justice.”
​
When I read this, I thought that the claim of the Báb being the 12th Imam is worthy of study, as there were also individuals and his followers who laid down their lives and were martyred because of this Cause.
​
When I closed the book, I noticed a picture of the Báb on the back cover, suspended by a rope, as he was executed. I was deeply moved by this picture and thought I would read the book.
​
That night, I borrowed the book and completed reading it. After that day, I decided to study the Bábi and Baha’i Faith also. I thought that the Baha’i Faith is not as I had originally believed, and further research was necessary to learn more. So, I was in search of finding Baha’i books and very soon, one or two days later, I visited the library in Shiraz.
​
The Library is called the National Fars Library. To my great surprise, I found two Baha’i books, the Bayan, and the Book of Certitude. I did not think that the library stocked these types of books. I requested from the librarian if he would show me the library storage area and he kindly agreed. He was very friendly towards me, as it was not usual for members of the clergy to visit the library and mostly students used the service.
​
When I entered the library storage area, I saw that the Bábi and Baha’i books had been put in the reject area, where all these books were stored together. There, I saw the Farsi and Arabic versions of the Bayán, amongst other books. ​I also came across Bahá’u’lláh’s Book of Certitude and the Kitab-i-Aqdas, the most Holy Book. Also, the book of Bahá’u’lláh and the New Era, as well as some writings of Abdu’l-Bahá.
​
At first, I thought of reading one of the books by other authors whose research and ideas had been rejected. Then, I decided to read a book from the Bábi or Baha’i Faith and I did not really understand the difference between the two. I chose the Book of Certitude and spent a week reading and studying it. During this week, may God be my witness, I was so influenced by the Book of Certitude that I decided to find out about Baha’i laws and start obeying these laws at the same time as carrying out the Muslim laws, just in case there was a truth in the book.
​
It seemed to me that if the Torah and the Bible and other known Holy Books are from God, then this is at the same level or even at a greater level, as it explains some of the problems and unanswered questions in the other books. I had read the Quran one hundred times and I remember in one month of fasting, I read the Quran ten times. i.e. once every three days. That is to say that I did nothing but read the Quran.
​
If one has a good familiarity with the Quran and then reads the Book of Certitude, everything becomes so clear, as the Book of Certitude explains the most important question, which is the sign of another Manifestation of God.
​
The signs of a new manifestation have great importance. For example, in the Bible, the sign of the next manifestation is when the moon does not give light and the stars collapse down onto the earth. The world is enveloped in darkness. These are the signs of the coming of the next manifestation in the Bible and the same is found in the Quran. However, the clergy think these verses are related to the end of the world or the day of judgement, as they would know it. If the question of the day of judgement is answered, then all other questions would complete the jigsaw.
​
This issue of the end of the world was a huge unanswered question for me.
​
After reading the Book of Certitude, I spent seven months reading the book of Bayán, both in Farsi and Arabic. I found the book remarkably interesting and incredibly unique indeed.
​
Then, I started reading Kitab-i-Aqdas, The Most Holy Book, for five months, and then again. Altogether, I spent a year studying the The Most Holy Book.
​
After this research, I was sure that these books are holy books from God. And even at a higher level than the previous books. Of course, when I first started reading the writings, my aim was merely to study and gain information and not to ascertain the truth of the books. For example, it would be the same as a non-Muslim reading the Quran for study and research, just for interest and to see what the meaning is, rather than to ascertain or affirm whether it is true or not.
​
Hence, my aim was that the first time I would read the books, it would be merely for study and the second time to ascertain for myself whether they were Holy Books of God. It is strange that I did not find the need to read the books a second time and I was sure of their genuine nature by the first study.
​
I decided to carry out further research as before, one by study, and the other by problem solving, as well as spiritual meditation and focusing on the inner reality, the soul. There were various experiences and problems that came up during these two years, both in real life everyday experiences and in dreams. This research made it clear and gave me insight and inspiration as to the truth of what I was seeking to find.
​
The last stage was the night of the 23rd day of the month of Ramadan, the month of fasting. I gained almost complete certainty, except there was one small issue that I thought the problems and tests I had encountered were influenced by my own research and study, i.e., they were man made. So, I prayed to God to send down a test that will solve this dilemma I had. The day after this prayer, I went to visit my sister’s house. It was as if I was visiting a sister who had no idea about me or who I was. And I had not disclosed any information about my problems and my research to her. Or indeed to anyone else.
​​
My sister explained to me a dream she had and that so accurately described the presence of the Báb and Bahá’u’lláh in the dream, though she had no idea who they were. This dream is another area that I can explain on another occasion. She had no track record of knowing about these issues, and God had made her an instrument to give me the answers.
So I realised that my experiences and findings of my research were not because of my own biased studies and desires.
​
I was thinking whether to go to the library or to the school of clergy to make a declaration. Then I thought about my father who was such a fanatical Muslim, and this declaration would really upset him and may bring about a heart attack. So, I decided maybe it would be best not to do anything for the time being, until my father had passed away. And I asked God that if it was my duty to declare the findings of my research before then, to somehow make me understand this duty.
​​
Time passed, and two and a half years later, I carried on as before, without disclosing my secret. Of course, I knew two Baha’is in Shiraz, one by name and the other by acquaintance. The name of one of them was Mr Mosafari and my father had spoken with him once. I did not know him personally and was not aware where he lived.
​
The other was Mr Nasheri. We did not know his first name, but his shop was close to our college and the library. They had raided the shop many times, because of his faith, as to the devout Muslims and generally, even Omar (the arch enemy of Imam Ali and Shiite Islam) is brighter than a Baha’i.
​
I remember the day of the 21st July, when Mosaddegh came to power, they attacked his shop and then again, when the Shah came to power, the shop was raided again.
You know up to now, the Iranian clergy say that all the world superpowers and governments that exploit peoples and nations are related to Baha’is. We are their associates and their spies.
​
I visited Mr Nasheri, wearing my Muslim clergy attire, the robe, moustache, beard and turban, and explained to him that I had studied Baha’i books and was interested in further books, especially related to Baha’i Laws. And asked his help if this would be possible.
When I first met him, I said:
​
“I would like to speak with you on a private matter.”
​
He was taken aback and told me that they do not do any private business with anyone.
​
He asked me where I was, and I replied that I taught in the Bába Khan school of clergy and often visited the library. He said he would meet me at the library that day, but he never came.
​
Another day I met him at the Vakil public baths.
​
I said to him “Do you remember we arranged to meet at the public library?”
​
And I said that I had come, and he did not keep the meeting. So, we arranged another day and I purposely arrived an hour early, and still, he did not turn up.
​
That night, I had a dream that made me decide not to have any further contacts with Baha’is unless God provided the opportunity.
​
I closed this door and travelled to the town of Qum and Shabdolazim for a while, where I was a teacher of clergy, in the schools of Qurani and Lalezari. One day on the 4th of Shahrivar, in the year of 1345 (Islamic year), 9th of Jamal (Baha’i Year), I encountered some problems together with spiritual insights and inspirations which made me realise that I had to immediately make a public declaration of the issues and inform my students. I should not wait for anything else. It was in one of the mosques of Tehran that this realisation occurred.
​
I drove my car to the Shabdolazim school and invited my students to a first-floor student’s room. It was a Friday night. Some students were not present, but others entered the room. I started my speech and explained that from three years ago I had understood certain truths from research and study as well as life experiences, tests, problems, and meditation….
​
“However, I have never spoken to you about this. Today I have been given the mission of announcing this to you. “
​
Though I did not say how I had been given the mission.
​
“First the Hidden or 12th Imam of the Quran was Siyyid`Alí Muḥammad Báb, from Shiraz.” I explained it very clearly like this, so that they would fully understand.
​
“Secondly, he was followed by the Prophet Mírzá Ḥusayn-Ê»Alí, Baháʼu'lláh, from Tehran.
​
Third, that the revelations of God will never end, and they are continuous. I have discovered this from study and research, as well as problem solving life experiences. And I can prove this to you both ways.”
​
You should've seen their expressions. I was close to many of them as they were my students and the Thursday, the day before, I had been teaching them as per normal.
​
Apart from their great grief, their expressions were to be seen. Their mouths were wide open from fear, as they were terrified of the consequences. They could not even ask me one word for example,
​
“What was it that you said?”
​
One of them I remember very well, from Shiraz, with mouth wide open, was looking at the ceiling and looking around thinking, whether the ceiling would collapse on top of us.
​
With consideration of two of the students who knew about this matter, and had accepted the truth, one of them Mr Ansari and the other another member of the clergy, I did not wish to upset them anymore.
​
My brother, Hassan was at that time present at the school. He is now in America and a member of the Cause and said to me later that he saw Mr Ansari shaking and trembling with fear.
​
Hassan said to him “What is the matter Mr Ansari?”
​
“You don’t know what it’s about.” Mr Ansari said.
​
“What is it about?”
​
“You don’t know, you’re only a child, you don’t know what it’s about?” Said Mr Ansari again.
​
“What is it, what is it?” Hassan said.
​
“Oh, leave me alone for goodness’ sake, it’s about Chop Chop." Mr Ansari said.
​
[Laughter from the background guests and family.]
​
“It’s about Chop Chop", he said.
​
It was interesting, and myself, when I entered that school at the time, I swear in the name of the Blessed Beauty, that I knew the probability of not coming out of this situation alive would be 99% or more. Anyway, it was not God’s wish or, I may have not been worthy of that station.
​
I left the clergy school that night and the next day I went back to my teaching station and my duties as before. So, no one would think that I was going to escape. My closest friends at the school and some other clergy gathered around me and suggested I go back to Shiraz. I did not object to this, as I had said everything in Tehran and now, I would say it in Shiraz.
​
So, I started my journey to Shiraz and there were also some telegraph messages to my father requesting his presence immediately.
​
There was a Mr Sarehi, who was a minister of the County of Fars community affairs, he wrote a telegraph:
​
“Your son safe, your presence needed.” The news had reached my father and he was terribly upset.
​
He started the journey with my mother to Tehran. So, they were travelling to Tehran and I was going the other way to Shiraz. When I arrived in Shiraz, I realised that neither my mother nor father was there.
​
I had an uncle, another member of the clergy, who I felt had great affection towards me, and when I visited Shiraz, he would always say "First come to my house, then go to your parents’". So, I thought I would visit him. His name was Siyyid Abdul Rahim Zebarjad, and he was the leader of congregational prayers in Shiraz, in the mosque of Haj Ghani, located in Isfahan square. He also had an office for marriage registration.
​
When I entered his house, I greeted him with the words, “Dear Uncle, Hello and Greetings “.
​
He came forward with open arms to embrace and greet me, then I said,
​
“Just wait a moment.” And continued, “This time, I am visiting your house, I am a Baha’i. Does that not matter to you?. And this Baha’i is different from the other Baha’i that people have notions of.”
​
My uncle said “Yes.” And then continued very interestingly, “My liking towards you is the same, whatever religion you are.”
​
Again, he embraced me affectionately and we talked from 10 in the morning until 10 in the evening; discussing the topic “What is Baha’i?” and why I have become a Baha’i. In the end, God bless his soul, he said to his children to go to bed, and he came near me and laid his bed mattress down on the floor next to me, and we continued our discussions.
​
When everyone had gone to sleep, he said to me, “I want to tell you something, which I would like only you to be my witness in the day of judgement. I swear in the name of my ancestors who are Siyyids from my mother’s side, and descendants of Zahra and the Prophet Mohammed, these days, I am stuck in a dilemma of unanswered questions."​
​
Then I replied, “I swear in the name of my ancestors, that everyone is stuck in a dilemma of unanswered questions."
[Laughter from audience.]
​​
“But they don’t have your justice or my madness.” Then, he carried on the discussion saying, “I have had an office of marriage registration for 35 years, and this Muslim law of divorce is enough, for every Muslim to know that the law of Divorce is no longer valid. In these 35 years I always followed the divorce law, as in the Islamic rules. But people have always slandered and abused my actions. Someone would ask me for a divorce one day, and the next day, they would regret it and say why did you give a divorce decree. I would explain this is Islamic Law and the law does not say when you divorce, you can change your mind the next day and ask for reconciliation.”​
​
The new rules for a year of patience are not present in Islam and you can divorce at any time and any moment. Also, in Islam, divorce is only the right of the man and a woman cannot apply and initiate a divorce. The difference is also that they need to wait for three months after the divorce before reconciliation. It was very interesting anyhow.
​
I stayed in my uncle’s house for three days and we had many discussions. Some clergy students would visit us during these days, and we had some further talks. However, I would not say that I was a Baha’i to the students, but I would explain my point of view in the religious discussions.
​
We had a formal meeting with the clergy teachers and learned men as well as some intellectuals, experts in art and culture, and scholars, and some further talks took place. These were more generalised rather than going into detail. There was a specific point we discussed about the meaning of “trust”.
​
I said, “I would like to speak to you regarding 'trust in God'. In various situations, God gives man a situation where he must choose between two paths. This is to test him. So, in a sense, we have been told that we must trust in God and in another sense, we must use the practical means available. If they said just trust in God, and do nothing, that is easy, and if they say use the practical means available and do not accept divinity, that is easy. The good choice is to use practical means, e.g. make the effort to see a physician to cure an illness, and trust in God’s destiny for us.”
​
​Then I said, “Baháʼu'lláh has revealed in the Most Holy Book that (Arabic recited first, then Farsi) both physical efforts using practical means and trust in God is necessary, as the right path.”
​
At this point the meeting became unbelievably beautiful and desirable, and many said they had heard these explanations and would not believe it. They also said, “Your knowledge is much more than Siyyid (descendant of the Prophet Mohammed) Báb.”
​
I said, “I am not the only one whose knowledge is far more than the Báb. There were more than 400 members of the learned clergy who declared their faith in the Báb, and they had studied much more before the Báb’s revelation. The Báb had not spent any time studying.”
​
Then we continued our discussions. At the end of the meeting, when I realised they were very curious, I said:
​
“I am a Baha’i. You can do whatever you like now.”
​
Then I read a phrase in Arabic, saying, "If you cannot do anything with your hands, if your hands are tied, then use your feet.”
​
After this, a member of the clergy wrote a letter to the Shiraz offices of Justice, saying that “A clergy teacher has become Baha’i, but he will re convert to Islam in due time. He has been a man of good repute, however at this point there is a danger that he will be killed, and this will be a plus and an advertisement of the Baha’i Faith, and be negative for Islam. This situation has to be controlled somehow, so the best action is to take him to a mental hospital or asylum.”
​
This letter was discussed amongst ministers and together with the ministry for security, they sealed their approval of the contents.
​
So, they called me at home one day and said, "Your father is here to see you." I knew it was something else and got dressed into my Islamic robe and turban and opened the door. In the street, I saw two cars which were related to the law-and-order committee. In one of the cars was Mr Hussain Nejad and the other Mr Batten Negahdar. Then four men got out and directed me into the car.
​
In the car, there were two men at the back and two at the front. One was the driver, Hussain Nejad, and the other Mr Samadi, and he was very heavily built, like a bodyguard, in case of any struggle or resistance. I sat at the back of the car and we travelled to the North of the town. The car stopped at the front gate of Salami Mental Hospital.
​
The four men opened the four doors to the car and got out again. They were close friends of mine and they were too embarrassed to face me. I came out of the car very calmly and slowly, with honour. I took out my prayer bead and meditated on a decision as to whether to surrender without a fight or not. I was inspired and decided to cooperate and accept my fate.
​Very slowly and calmly, I entered the hospital and sat down at reception and waited.
​​
The head of the hospital was Dr Salami, and the deputy Head was Dr Etminan.
​
I do not know whether Dr Salami was at the hospital at the time, but Dr Etminan walked up and down the reception area a few times. And did not speak to me, though he was watching me from the corner of his eyes. He wanted to know my mental and general state.
​
But anyway I asked him myself, “Mr Etminan, am I supposed to be checked in and a patient of this hospital.” He came up and smiled and maybe thought he is not such a madman, so aggressive, to be put in chains.
​
He said, “This is what they say.”
​
Then I said, “So, if that’s the case, why don’t you lead me and show me my bed?” Laughter from guests in the background.
​
He said “Ok.”
​
And took me to the first floor and I entered a private room with a single bed. Usually in the hospital, there are two beds to a room, with two patients occupying each room, however my room was for one person only.
​
So, I was calm and quite comfortable. The section I was taken to was not the section for very violent psychopaths, as there were some patients whose madness was not so advanced!! This section was for addicts and those with less major psychological disorders. There may have been around 20 addicts in this area of the hospital, and they had been admitted to cure their addiction.
​
Opposite my room, there was a man named Siavoosh Daylami and Mr Faeni. It is interesting that before I arrived at the hospital, there was a real mad mullah who had been admitted there for a while. And he had a terribly angry and serious temperament. For example, he had broken two or three of their radios, because of forbidden music (In Islam, there have been interpretations that music is forbidden).
​
When I first arrived, I realised that this patient was curious about me and staring. It was a hot summer, and the doors were open, and he was looking inside the room where I was sitting. For example, to see what kind of things I do, and the sorts of ways I exhibit my madness.
​
I noticed that he was listening to some country music, and I made an expression to turn the music up a bit. When I said this, he became happy and turned the sound up and got up and did a little dance.
​
And sat down again.
[Laughter from audience.]
​
The next day after I had said my morning prayers and had breakfast, he came up to me and spoke. “Mister, can I invite you to my room to come and sit with me and we can have a chat?”
​
So, we sat talking from 8 in the morning until noon. General conversation and telling each other jokes. The jokes that are shared in schools for mullahs. Near lunch time he said “I am getting a little bored, and I would like to ask you something, though I’m a little nervous. I have sat talking to you all morning and I cannot see any illness in your mental state. I would like to ask, what has happened that they have brought you here?”
​​
I replied, “Please do not ask me why but ask the people who have decided to do this. Because if I say, oh I had many enemies, they wanted to take cheques, take my money, this would not be appropriate for me to say, as many people in the hospital say this. It’s better to ask the people who brought me here.”
​
And he said, “Ok, I will ask them also. But you say as well.”
​
I said, “Please don’t insist. If I tell you the main cause of this, you will not believe me. So, it’s better to leave it.”
​
However, he kept on insisting to know why I was here.
​
So, I said “Shall I tell you then?”
​
He said “Yes, Surely.”
​
I said, “I am a Baha’i, and they have brought me to the hospital for this reason.”
​
He was incredibly surprised and said,
​
“So, the Baha’is have mullahs then?”
​
I said, “They didn’t have any, but it looks like they are going to.”
[Laughter from the audience.]
​
“So, other patients gathered, and they asked me to explain how I had become a Baha’i.”
​
To be brief, we sat there until two in the afternoon, and I was explaining my story, and no one had gone to lunch as they wanted to know how I had become a Baha’i.
​
And in that gathering those present showed respect for the faith and declared that if they overcame their difficulties at the hospital, they would also in truth become Baha’is.
​
In fact, during my stay, Dr Salami had several arguments with the officials in Shiraz, asking them why they required me to stay at the hospital.
​
Yes, so we stayed in that place and it is a long, interesting story at that mental hospital. They kept me there for ninety five days.
​
During most of my stay, I had visits from religious scholars, members of religious and non-religious committees, for example one committee came from Tehran, another from Mashhad. Then we would speak, and the conversations were recorded. There must have been hundreds of tape recordings of our discussions. I had never really spoken properly to a Baha’i and did not know the answers that a Baha’i would give to
some of their questions.
​
So, I explained everything very relaxed and simply. For example, I remember very well this statement that was put forward that Kimia Golshi had written the words of wisdom and research books that I had studied, and not the Báb.
​
I said, “Are you sure, and will you swear by God that this Kimia Golshi has written these works?”
And they said “Yes, they will swear to God that this is the case.”
Then I said, “Oh, I’m so sorry I’ve made a mistake, I thought it was the Báb, the Hidden, the 12th Imam and descendant of the prophet Muhammed that had written these words, now I understand that it is Kimia Golshi.”
[Laughter from the audience.]
​
I would give them similar answers like this during our discussions. For example, they said:
​
“The Báb first declared himself as the 12th Imam, then a prophet and then finally declared himself as God himself. Then he said that he was wrong. How could he have three different stations?”
​
“Have you read the book of “Osoole kafi?” I asked.
They said “No.”
​
I said “In Osoole kafi, God first made Abraham his servant, (some words said in Arabic), then he made him a prophet, then from prophet he became a messenger, and from a messenger, he became an Imam, so a prophet is having four different stations.
So, it is the same with the Báb.”
​
So, this is how I gave answers to the questions. Of course these are not the exact answers, however at that time this is how I explained things.
​
There is an interesting piece to tell you about. There was a man in the hospital by the name of Mr Hassan Khodashenas, and he was a hypnotist. Mr Salami had told him that:
​
“A mullah has turned mad and if you hypnotise him, I have a good prize for you.”
​
So, he came up to me one of those days and greeted me and sat down.
He asked me, “Is it Ok if I sit with you for a few minutes?”
​
I said, “Please, be my guest.”
​
So, he said, “Will you let me speak?"
​
So, I said, “Please go ahead.”
​
So, he thought of what he should say and could not think of anything. Then he asked me,
“Would you like to speak?”
​
I said “Yes, how much patience do you have?”
​
He said, “A great deal.”
​
So, I spoke to him for about twenty minutes about the state of my health and how I had become a Baha’i.
​
After these twenty minutes, God is my witness, he got up from his seat, and looked all around him and said,
​
“Where is this place?”
​
“Where am I?”
​
[Laughter from audience.]
​​
He said,
​​
“Where is this place?”
​​
And “Who are you?”
​​
[Laughter from audience.]
​
“What are these things you’re saying?”
​
[More laughter.]
​
I got really concerned, as I thought maybe he means what he is saying and he is disturbed.
He said these sentences and left. He did not say anything else when he left. I followed him and watched him leave the building and thought maybe he was one of those mad men at the hospital. I asked one of the lady nurses working there,
​​
“Who is this person?”
​
She said, “He is the hospital hypnotist.”
​
The next day, before they brought breakfast to our rooms, I heard someone knock at the door. It was after I had said my prayers, and I said,
​
“What can I do for you?” And the person said,
​
“I have come visiting to hear the continuation of your talks from yesterday.”
​
Someone from audience asked, “Did you say the Baha’i Prayer?”
​
“Oh yes, I said the long obligatory prayer.”
After I tried to get in touch with Mr Nasheri, this was not successful, then God’s wish carried out, Mr Ansari had realised the basic truths halfway during my studies, and that is a different story that I did not want to tell anyone.
​
I advised Mr Ansari to get in touch with Mr Mosaferi and thank goodness Mr Mosaferi was a very hospitable person. Mr Mosaferi had written the long obligatory prayer in his own handwriting and another prayer for martyrs. So, I thought you had to say both the prayers one after the other. We had not seen any other books, so we memorised the long obligatory prayer that week. I said these prayers for two years in this way, but I
was also following the Islamic rules and prayers at the same time. And I also carried out both the Islamic and Baha’i fasting. So, when it should be 19 days of fasting, I did 24 days, as I thought that Ayyam-i-ha intercalary days came right at the end of the Baha’i year.
​
Any way we were in the town of Shabdol Azim with Mr Ansari and carried out these 23 or 24 days of fasting.
​
So, I said to the gentleman at that hospital "I am here, at your service." And this gentleman, the hypnotist, asked me to continue.
​
I said, “My talks are finished now. Yesterday you asked me to begin speaking and I did, and so now it’s your turn to speak and to say why you are in such a rush and why you wish me to continue.”
​
He said, “No, I should not speak in your presence, I should just listen.”
​
I said,” Why…. Why?" He replied:
​
“For 18 years I have tried to find a religion, and I cannot live without God, however much I try. And I am not convinced with the talks given by the clergy. At one point I was so frustrated that I wanted to tear up the Quran, so that the Quran would break my back and give me punishment; so that God would show me somehow that the Quran is the truth.
​
Now I have come to a mental hospital and from the voice of a man who they say is mad, I am getting the answers I have been searching for the last 18 years. If you were in my place, would you not say, where is this place? Is this a mental institution or a university? Are you a mad man or a lecturer of theology and religion?”
​​
In brief, after I left the hospital, I saw this gentleman three days after I travelled back to Tehran. He had told me, ​“I will search the whole of Tehran until I find you.”
​
He was a guest in my house for about 8 months and he declared himself as a Baha’i, and he became even more mad, more crazy than myself. (Laughter from audience).
He emigrated to India for pioneering and then later, when describing his acceptance of the faith, he would say,
​
“I went to hypnotise him, and he hypnotised me instead."
​
In the 95 days I was in the hospital, they told me first that I had to sign something to say I am not a Baha’i, then I would be released and free to do as I wished. I said this would not be possible.
​
Then they said you do not have to write anything, just say it. Say that you are not a Baha’i.
​
Then I answered this is not possible. Then they said,
​
“What are you going to do with your clothes, your appearance. Your mullah’s robe, and turban. You need to change those.”
​
I answered, “Why should a mullah’s appearance have anything to do with a mental hospital?”
​
I said "This is not possible. I must go out in this same mullah’s clothes."
They did not seem to understand that a mullah can also be a Baha’i.
What is wrong with that?
So, in the end they asked me to go to Tehran. It was during this time that I started my acquaintance with the Baha’is. And this is an interesting story.
​
Firstly, the Baha’is had heard that a mullah in a mental hospital is saying that he is a Baha’i. So, for example, since there was no track record of this kind of happening at that time frame, the Baha’is may have thought, there are a lot of these mad people around in hospitals.
​
There was a Baha'i learned man with the name of Arselan Vaselzadeh who visited me at the hospital.
In one of the discussions, he asked me “Mr, are you really a Baha’i?”
​
And I said “Yes.”
It was a Mr Arselan Vaselzadeh. (Asking audience) Do you know him?
​
His parents were Baha’is. So, this person sent the news to the Shiraz local spiritual assembly (LSA), and General Vahdat from the LSA. Mr Vahdat visited me at the hospital and when he entered the room and greeted me, he very soon had to see Mr Salami and was prevented a visit.
​
I later found out that Muslim clergy and other scholars were allowed visit rights, but not Baha’i officials.
​
So, we lost connection, until I met Mr Jalal Choobineh who was right next to my room. Mr Choobineh once came to the room of Mr Daylami, the one who played country music and I asked him to turn the music up.
​
This story about the music is interesting, because the next day, he said that he told his friend that this mullah is mad in one extreme and the other one was mad in the other extreme.
​
“This mullah is a good mad man, because he likes music, the other mullah was a bad mad man, because he was so serious and did not allow us to listen to music.” [Laughter from audience].
So, Mr Choobineh had gone to his room and he had said to him. “You see this mullah; he is a Baha’i.” And
Mr Choobineh said, “Oh, don’t kid me, what’s this thing about Baha’i?” He thought his friend was trying to wind him up. And he said, “Oh no, honestly, he is a Baha’i.” So, he came to my room and we talked.
He said, “The truth is, my wife is a Baha’i.” And that night they came together, and we got more acquainted.
His uncle called Zabiallah Choobideh who worked in the Bazargani Bank also visited me.
So, it was interesting that in that state and that situation they believed I was a Baha’i.
​
Mr Choobideh was sure I was a Baha’i, and I was telling the truth. They sent the news to the Local Spiritual Assembly, and the LSA had sent me a parcel of confectionary, that tasted so wonderfully sweet. And it was at that time that they asked me to leave the hospital for Tehran and I agreed.
​
Before that, I asked Mr Choobideh to consult with the LSA to see whether it was ok for me to leave, and they agreed.
​
They offered to pay for my travels, and I said I would pay myself.
​
Soon after, one night at ten p.m., they asked me to get ready to leave the hospital.
​
I wore my mullah’s robe and collected my belongings. They did not want the LSA to pay for any travels or be involved.
​
I met Zagord Soltani and Dr Salami in a Volkswagen outside.
​
They took me to the TBT coach station, and they had kept the poor passengers waiting from ten p.m. until twelve p.m. midnight, so that they could arrange for my travels at a specific time. They chose twelve at midnight so that no one could see me leaving and the situation would be kept a secret.
​​
​So, with handcuffs, they handed me over to the coach authorities at midnight. I arrived the next day in Tehran and am still here.
​
Now the delight and enjoyment started when I met the Baha’is in Tehran.
​
​A break in the tape.
​
I will give you a brief talk about the passing away of Mr Shahgholi, a few days after arrival in Tehran. I set off for the ceremony of his burial and saw the Baha’is coming out of his house. [Voice of child speaking in background].
​
So, they were getting in the car to start leaving and I was with Mr Javid. I said to Mr Javid,
​
"Let us not go in, let us stay here.”
​
End of tape.
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​​